Weekend Blog

As you can tell, reader dear, I am utterly awful at updating during the week. I have far too much to do during the week, such as watch Jeopardy! and reruns of The Daily Show, and then maybe catch an episode of The Hills, or my new favorite show 30 Rock.* You see? Completely no time for writing.

From now on, expect updates only on the weekend. I promise I will save up a week's worth of silly happenings to write about.

Silly Happening #1

Thursday evening, on my way home from work, a British dad (who looked somewhat like John Oliver) sat down next to me on the subway with a lapful of three year-old on the brink of a tantrum. He utterly did not want to sit on his dad's lap, he wanted his own seat, so in protest he started screaming, "GET OFF MY BUTT! I DON'T WANT TO SHARE! GET OFF MY BUTT!" And then he ate a banana.

Every time the train rocked, his little Crocked foot would hit my knee. Finally his British father turned him a bit and whispered, "Don't kick the woman, okay?" And the little banana-covered boy looked at me and said, "That's not a woman, that's a girl."

Silly Happening #2

Almost missed my train on Wednesday, but managed to slide into a window seat at the last minute. Was all chuffed with myself until I looked across the aisle and there was Creepy Station Boy. I waved and he looked quickly at the ground, and then I looked out the window for an hour and gave my neck an awful crick.

Silly Happening #3

My dad just called me Lily. And I was all, "Lily? Who's that?" And he was all, "Jesus Christ, who knows. I'm losing my mind. Anyway, I bought some chilli--"

And he stopped.

And we both looked at each other.

And I said, "Lily--Lizzy plus chilli."

And then we fell about laughing.